


Snowflakes

by MakennaSweets1967



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Christmas Eve, Cuddling & Snuggling, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:34:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakennaSweets1967/pseuds/MakennaSweets1967
Summary: Dean speculates the snowflakes falling from his apartment window. Finally looking at his best friend by his side, he admits something all because of some stupid rainbow lights.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 42





	Snowflakes

**Author's Note:**

> First Christmas fic! I have more on the way just gotta remember Christmas more.

Snowflakes fall in little flurries, each their own intricate beings falling to their destruction. It may seem cynical but Dean doesn't think much into poeticness. It's simply circumstance in his eyes. But he likes snowflakes, how the only way to experience their beauty is to destroy them. He thinks it just fits.

His eyes trace each flurry from the highest point of the window pane, till they are destroyed on the dark road below. Illuminated only by a single street lamp. 

From the window pane the bitter chill creeps in, but Dean doesn’t notice. Sliding his eyes over to his best friend. He notices him snuggle deeper into the fluffy blanket. 

The two men snug against each other on the green barely loveseat, loveseat. Beneath a large fluffy Christmas blanket. Watching the first snow fall on Christmas Eve. 

Dean watches the gummy smile that rests on his face, illuminated by a rainbow of colors from the tree. 

Dean chuckles lightly at the sight. Just barely audible over the light 1980s Christmas melodies filling the apartment. 

Castiel shifts away from the window facing Dean. He feels his heart quicken at their closeness. He shouldn’t be doing this. 

Looking at Dean his straight best friend, this close. Snuggled beneath a shared red and white blanket on a hardly big enough loveseat. Their sides pressed perfect together. On Christmas Eve, watching the snowflakes fall. Ready to spend Christmas with the love of his life. The unrequited love of his life. 

Yet he doesn’t move, he doesn’t because maybe he thinks he deserves this moment. Even if it’s not real. 

“What?” Cas tilts his head in questioning confusion, causing Dean’s stomach to do a small flip. 

Dean smirks raising his hand to trace Cas’s cheek, an act just a bit too intimate for friends “The lights, you have a rainbow on your face”

“Oh” Cas answered seemingly breathless, “ironic since you don’t” 

There a hint of sadness to Cas’s words though Dean could tell he tried to mask it with humor. Why though that is the question. Cas never inclined that he saw them as anything more, at least not completely. 

Maybe that was Dean’s fault. After all he hadn’t known he liked dudes till college. At that point it felt to awkward to tell him since after all he realized he was in love with the man. 

Castiel turned back to the window, trying to ease the tightness in his chest. 

Everything is perfect if he ignored his selfish desire. Desires that want every year to be like this one. 

The smell of freshly made gingerbread cookies cooling on the kitchen counter. Dean’s little brother Sammy sprawled across the living room couch. Each new song melodically wishing away all their pain. Or at least he hopes. 

Everything is so warm and he wants to live in this moment forever. Watching flurries of snow melt into the road beneath the window. 

The cold midnight air seeping through the frosty window. Unable to touch the bubble of heat surrounding the two - friends. 

“And what if I did -“ Dean asks looking away, as he picks at his sweats “want a rainbow on my cheeks or at least part of one” 

He doesn’t know what compelled him to ask. Maybe it was that for once when Dean asked Cas to stay he did. 

\- yesterday - 

“Ugh” Cas wailed his face pressed against the cool kitchen counter in his and Dean’s apartment. 

Dean quirked his eyebrow. Sliding over a cup of steaming coffee to Cas, he rests his elbows against the far end of the counter “what’s up sunshine” 

“Naomi” Cas grumbled referring to his mother. Though he lifted his head if only to take a sip of his coffee “she ‘can’t wait’ for me to show up apparently she has ‘someone’ to ‘introduce’ me to for Christmas” He continued throwing slightly wrong finger quotes in his speaking. 

Had Dean not been panicking internally he would have thought the quotes were cute. Currently though his heart was sinking to his feet “Oh” 

“Probably some god fearing good Christian girl with the personality of a saltine cracker. Because god forbid she actually recognize that I am Gay and stop my siblings from degrade me every time I’m around.” Cas fumed sipping down more of the scalding hot coffee. He didn’t mean to be so harsh about whoever the girl may be but he is angry. Christmas has never been one of his fonder memories at least not since he came out about three years ago. 

Dean understood perfectly well what Cas had gone through. Cas had texted him every year about the Novak family Christmas or as he called it the gang up on the poor gay angel day. 

“Don’t go then” Dean stated as if it were a perfectly reasonable statement. 

Cas sighed “and do what Dean, sit in my room eating instant ramen by myself on Christmas.” 

Dean could imagine that, hell he had spent a Christmas or two like that when Sammy was away at Stanford. 

“No Cas” Dean shook his head walking over and placing a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t ever want anyone to spend a Christmas like that, “spend it with me... and Sam and Bobby. Shit even invite Gabriel.” 

Cas perked up more, locking his eyes with Dean’s emerald green eyes. Searching for any trace of humor, or betrayal. There was nothing but sincerity, maybe even pleading. 

“You don’t deserve to keep letting them treat you like you nothing. Like you aren’t even human. Just like Bobby always tells me family don’t end in blood. Stay let us be your family, let me.” Dean smiles looking down at his angel, well not that Cas would ever know. After all he only calls him angel in his head. 

Cas steps a bit closer, maybe Dean does understand maybe he feels the same. A sound barely exits his throat “Okay I won’t leave tomorrow” 

“Okay” Dean repeats, maybe it’s selfish but the way his heart flutters he can’t help to care. 

It’s as if something has changed, but before anything can happen there’s a knock on the door. 

They back away, the moment is lost. 

“Must be Sam” Dean frowns, at least Cas stayed for once. 

—

Something like yesterday is back. That moment the tension between them. 

Their eyes snap back to each other only inches apart. Holding each others eyes. Speaking more words between their eyes than real words could. 

“But Dean - I thought -“ Cas is cut off when Dean places a hand in Cas’s beneath the blanket. 

A blush spreading along his cheeks. The temperature seems about a thousand times hotter than just a second ago. 

“I did too for a while, but with you” Dean smiles, when Cas gives his hand a comforting squeeze. Urging him to continue, the hope in his eyes spilling out. 

This is it Dean thinks make or break, “actually” 

He pauses retracting his hand, and hopping out of the room. His fluffy green socks sliding across the wood floor to his room. 

Cas feels his heart drop, obviously he was reading to much into Dean’s words. He felt so stupid for thinking - thinking Dean could have meant something.

He shook his head, willing away the heart break. Pressing himself further into the loveseat, wishing he would just disappear. Disappear from the stupid lights, the cheesy Christmas music, the gingerbread cookies permeating the air; disappear from Christmas. 

Turning his back on where Dean left, he shoves it all down he can cry later. It won’t be the first Christmas he’s cried on. 

“Cas” Dean whispered, a slight chuckle “fall asleep buddy” 

Slowly Cas turned back, looking at Dean one hand behind Dean’s back. Fighting to keep a expressionless face. 

Dean’s smile dropped when Cas looked back at him. His face held something Dean could only describe as heartbreak. He rushed to Cas’s side, slotting himself back in his pocket of warmth now slightly colder than he left it. 

“Sorry” Cas’s croaked his voice cracking. Dean placed his free hand over Cas’s lips, “Dean?” 

His lips move against Dean’s finger. 

“Stop Cas, I just-“ he runs a hand over his face looking back at the snowflakes. Maybe that will be their fate to but what if it’s not “look” 

Dean holds up his hand. Above their heads drops down a mistletoe. Specifically one ranging from red to purple, a rainbow mistletoe if you will. Maybe Dean had thought of hanging it and got scared, but he wasn’t scared anymore. 

His heart pounds against his chest in anticipation, waiting for rejection maybe. But instead those blue angel eyes flit to the mistletoe, and with a deep breath that hope and happiness is back. 

“Dean Winchester I thought you didn’t do chick flick moments especially not during Christmas” Cas smirks, but it barely makes a dent in the elation surrounding him. 

“Shudd’up and let me kiss you” Dean answers in response but doesn’t make a move, waiting for Cas’s confirmation. Because what if he had read this whole thing wrong. 

With a silent nod, the two best friends move towards each other. Dean flutters his eyes closed as he feels Cas’s breath against his own. Finally their lips touch just briefly, hardly a kiss, but still it feels as if all the breath has been knocked from his lungs. As if they have been waiting their whole life’s for this one moment. 

After their lips part, Cas wraps his hand behind Dean’s neck as he lowers the mistletoe. Pulling them back together, this time the kiss is raw, passionate, sparks fly around them. His tongue lists against Cas’s teeth teasingly. 

Dean smiles at the left over taste of milk on Cas’s lips when they break apart. 

They sink back down into the cushion. Dean’s head falling onto Cas’s shoulder, wrapped gently up in each other. Fingers laced, an arm sneaked behind Dean’s waist. Suddenly the loveseat isn’t too small after all. 

Everything feels normal, but perfect. Like this is how things were always meant to be. 

Dean looks to the clock beside the table reading 12:07, he rubs his thumb in smoothing circles on Cas’s hand. Placing a small kiss to the bottom of his jaw “Merry Christmas angel” 

“Please tell me this isn’t a one time thing, that when Christmas ends you will still want this” Cas begs his head still spinning with happiness from all of it. Everything he’s wanted for years, finally he thinks he gets to have it. 

Dean shakes his head “god no Cas, this is isn’t a one time thing. This - this is everything. Today, tomorrow, everyday. I want to spend every Christmas with you.” 

“Every Christmas” Cas voice whispers lazily into Dean’s ear, relaxing into another kiss. 

“Every” 

“Single” 

“One” 

Dean punctuates each word between kisses. Laying his head back down, accepting his roll as the little spoon. 

“Merry Christmas Dean” 

Maybe as Dean listens to Sammys snores over the cheesy Christmas music, wrapped in the love of his life’s arms. Because yes Cas is the love of his life. Watching snowflake after snowflake fall onto the road below. Maybe Dean had it wrong all along. 

Snowflakes aren’t beauty that when beheld are destroyed. They show people their beauty if only for a moment before the melt away, only to return to the clouds to be shaped into something new. To something even more beautiful. 

This time when Dean watches the snowflakes fall, all he can feel is happiness and warmth. Poeticness be damn. He holds this moment as Christmas ushers his family in, Cas especially.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading! As always stay strong and keep fighting.   
>  \- Makenna Sweets


End file.
